Country of Origin: 
Champion Date: May 24, 2023
Keeper as of: June 14, 2025
Meet UMMII, the resident ghost of the roster and a man who treats Elder Scrolls Online less like a game and more like a high-stakes corporate takeover. A dedicated sweat-lord with three years of guild tenure, he has transcended the mortal need for “fun,” instead living exclusively for the thrill of a frame-perfect rotation and the dopamine hit of a world-record score push. He’s mastered every role in the game to an infuriating degree, though he prefers to spend his time as a DPS, presumably because it’s easier to see how much better he is than you on a combat log.
If you’re looking for UMMII to check out your new tavern-themed house or help with a casual dungeon run, don’t hold your breath—his interest in home decor is nonexistent, and he views “relaxed play” as a personal insult. He is essentially an endgame cryptid; you won’t see him online unless there’s a Triple Achievement on the line or you spend forty minutes shamelessly begging him to grace your group with his presence. He doesn’t just play the meta; he haunts it, emerging from the shadows only to out-parse your entire trial team before vanishing back into the void of a private Discord server.
