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Couture, Hogan, Ali, these names all bring up ideas of excellence within professional combat sports. Each name has built a premium brand upon their legacy. Unlisted next to their names however, is arguably one of the best to wield their own fist against their fellow man. A man who trains for his fights by moving large qualities of fragile heavy goods. A man who this writer is sure sleeps with crumpled up $100 bills in his pillow case.
IPMC FIGHTNIGHT Champion Sargent Neon_5, AKA Neon Musk, has been working as an officer with Paleto Bay for a while now. I sat with him at his $10 million penthouse to get to know how it feels to be a champion. “Hmm, alright.” Is all he responded to my question. It was at this point, your narrator notices labubus enveloping his lavish Diamond Casino wall. “Ebay.” He tells me, seeing my eyes wonder. He would have just gone to the claw machines but he has been training for IPMC Fight Night tirelessly.
He has been eating three raw eggs for breakfast with an energy drink on the side. “They just got a sprunk machine at the casino, with eCola, and P’s &Q’s and such. I do all of this and then go watch Princess Robot Bubblegum afterward.” Purinsesu Robotto Baburugamu is the #3 hit show in Japan that has caused worry for overzealous parents in both North America and Europe. Produced by the Red Cloud Tsunami Series, this show seems to be inspiring Sgt.Neon to keep his eyes on the prize.
Oddly_Oddity is his first championship defense in the upcoming Fight Night live at Vinewood Bowl on Sunday, September 7th, 2025 at 2pm E.s.t. “She’s a dirty fighter, so it’s anybody’s fight I think.” He shows compassion for her, despite her tactics. She earned her #1 Contender status by surviving the final 2 in the Knife Fight Battle Royal and subsequently defeating Tailgunner Drakvar despite his use of brass knuckles. When asked how he will attack the challenge of the Enforcer of his own charter, he casually looks up from his computer screen to note. “I will fight with honor, skill, and hard work. Then after, I will eat my P’s and Q’s. You know, they’re available at your local 24/7, or the machine at the Diamond Casino in East Vinewood.”
I caught up with Oddly_Oddity through email, as she was too busy training to be seen in person or available for call. “It’s a specialised technique called Running in circles.” She tells me. “He can’t hit me if I make him dizzy.” Will this method work though? Will the champion lull themselves into a defenseless column from the spiral flight of the fae that is the Paleto Bay Enforcer? “Uh, be nice please.” She beckons to her Sergeant as a closing statement.
Sgt.Neon_5 defends his title against Oddly_Oddity in the first round of the tournament this coming September 7th at Vinewood Bowl to a myriad of suspense as we gather at 2pm E.S.T. for IPMC FIGHTNIGHT. Admission is free as well as sign ups. Whomever wins this title will immediately defend it throughout the night as we may very well crown a new champion, or will Sgt.Neon_5 drop everyone that stands before him like the sleek package of P’s & Q’s in front of him now?
All we can do now is wait in anticipation.
IPMC FN Host SkTcH D’Klown and IPMC FN Champion Sgt.Neon_5
